Pete’s blog

I’m sure that you have all heard about “The Secret” by now – the book/DVD/roadshow that is supposed to change your life. In case you are wondering or if you haven’t heard about it yet – it is nothing new, just the same old self-help advice with its own catchphrases, jargon and Oprah endorsement. This time they call it the “law of attraction” – like attracts like; if you think about being wealthy, you’ll “attract” wealth. If you think how poor you are, you’ll “attract” more debt. Yup, the same old positive thoughts line – hardly a big secret.

What it really amounts to is that there is a million opportunities out there, but you will only recognise them if your mind is open to them. Positive affirmation can change you from being a victim to being in control – or as I was recently told, will move your locus of control from external (you have no control over events, they just happen to you), to internal (where you have control over your life). Also being positive affects how other people see and relate to you – people are more willing to share ideas and opportunities with positive people.

Anyway, I started thinking whether any of these self-help ideas say anything about changing the world or improving the life of those around you. All the adverts and sales pitches generally go for the “get your dream job/car/house/life” line – material self-fulfilment and happiness. Not much on the “read this book and you’ll want to spend your life-savings helping poor people” line… So here is the question – will self-affirmation on average benefit society or will it only benefit the person? Is self-affirmation always a good thing for everyone? And also, do you need to change yourself first before you can change society, or will changing society lead you to change yourself?

One of the most dramatic and arguably most successful mass uses of self-affirmation is the black consciousness movement. Through self-affirmation, blacks all over the world gained the self-respect and confidence to challenge the system that defined them as inferior. Almost every black person will tell you that in this case self-affirmation was a great thing, but there are quite a few white people that will tell you black consciousness is a dangerous movement. Note that in this social situation, self-affirmation moved the locus of control into black people away from the dominant whites… Gain of control to black, loss of control by whites – no wonder one group is happier than the other about the idea. To paraphrase black consciousness and Steve Biko – only if black people elevate themselves to the level of white people will you achieve equality; it is up to black people to uplift themselves, as whites from their dominant position do not truly understand the challenges faced by blacks and often have no interest in changing the system. The argument in this case was clearly a change yourselves first in order to change society. The wonderful thing about black consciousness is that it is so easier to take the same ideas and thinking and substitute your choice of dominant/submissive grouping for black/white. So think about the classic rich/poor or bourgeois/working class struggling. In fact modern self-help books in effect are trying to empower the ‘poor’ and make them ‘rich’, thereby bridging the divide.

The antithesis of self-affirmation is self-sacrifice, which has created truly legendary individuals throughout history – Ghandi who gave up a career as a lawyer; Mandela who gave up 27 years in prison; Mother Theresa who lived amongst lepers and the poor – pick your favourite hero or religious figure and self-sacrifice is a common feature. It could be argued that this is a two-step process – if you are confident enough in yourself then you can channel this into helping others; self-affirmation empowers you to sacrifice yourself to help others. Surely this is should be the highest goal of self-affirmation? To channel your energies into helping others? A goal that sadly is very rarely mentioned in self-help books.

But noble and sentimental as this sounds, it doesn’t always apply to our heroes. Most of them will tell you that they did not consciously choose their lives of sacrifice – “it was just something that had to be done” is the most common excuse. There is no neat step from self-affirmation to changing society. These people would never feel self-fulfilled or self-affirmed whilst they see society suffering – only by correcting the wrongs do they feel that they change achieve self-affirmation. Clearly changing the world first, which changes yourself. Most people will tell you the joys of helping other people, about how making someone else happy give you a deep sense of fulfilment. Also one of the paths to self-discovery is through helping others with their problems – by understanding others, you can understand yourself better.

After this rather rambling email, I struggle to come to any sort of conclusion. Change yourself and the world at the same time? All that is important is that you feel in control and that you are trying to change? And where does happiness fit into this? On this topic I recommend that you read Is happiness enough?.

Will continue to think about this, and I hope I have given you something to think about.