Pete’s blog

Complete change of topic for this week - I am going to tackle one of the most significant causes of social change in the modern age. Something that has made us confront our morals, our beliefs and to acknowledge things that were once easy to deny – the Human Immunodeficiency Virus.
HIV has had a major impact on our society and has forced us to acknowledge a basic truth – sex happens. Sex has always happened, but we have not always acknowledged that it happens. It is dirty, messy and immoral, even thinking about it will send you straight to hell. Sex should only happen between a married man and woman, and then only to create babies. You must not talk about sex – ever. If you are very daring and liberal, you can provide sex education to your children, but you must only tell them which bits go where and how babies are born. Sex is a chore that you may one day have to perform, but it is generally best if you don’t ever acknowledge its existence. The hippies in the 60s showed that sex can happen between unmarried couples and that it can be fun, but they were a drug-crazed fringe group and were easily dismissed by mainstream society.
Then along came HIV… The first thing it did was to make us acknowledge that sex also happens between two men. The first major group to become infected were gay men. In the past, if you were gay you could hide your secret, deny your homosexuality and no one need ever know. Suddenly gay men were getting sick and a clear link was drawn by society – if you get sick, you are gay. Their cover was blown and the gay community suddenly found itself under the somewhat hostile public spotlight. But under the twin threats of a mysterious disease and a scornful public, the gay community banded together and found new strength – the gay pride movement made huge strides. Famous people started dying and the public started to realise that many of their heroes and idols were gay. The pinnacle event for me was the death of Freddy Mercury – a worldwide icon, who was openly gay (at least in his later career) and who disclosed that he was HIV positive just before his death from AIDS. HIV could no longer be ignored, could no longer be seen as God’s wrath on the immoral underworld of the sodomites – it was killing our heroes. To confront and prevent HIV we also had to confront the truth that sex happens between two men.
But HIV was not just a gay disease and it was already infecting heterosexuals. People who weren’t gay also started dying. HIV wasn’t just magically transmitted between people just because they were gay – it was transmitted because they were having sex. To talk about HIV, we had to talk about sex. Sex could no longer be ignored or denied – sex happens and it was killing people. We had to start talking to people about how they have sex, how to have safe sex and how to protect yourself – otherwise more people would die. We became aware and were forced to admit that everyone was potentially having sex – our children were having sex, unmarried couples were having sex and sometimes our spouses were having sex without us. It was no longer just about HIV, it became about sex. Issues that were denied and had been buried, now had to be faced. Teenage sex, extramarital sex, casual sex, sex workers, sugar daddy sex, gay sex, sex with multiple partners, sex, sex, sex.
Confronted with our own sexuality in such a dramatic fashion, we have been forced to rethink the morality of sex. Sex can no longer be seen as only happening between married couples and immoral everywhere else. Morality became irrelevant, it was now about how to protect yourself. Having unprotected sex, having multiple sexual partners, having extramarital sex, etc, became risky behaviour. And now a new morality is being defined around this risky behaviour. In the old days it was a simple command – “thou shalt not have any sex” – which led to the obvious question “but why?” It was a groundless morality that ignored the reality and denied a basic natural act. The new morality is far more realistic and practical – “Thou shalt not cheat on your girlfriend”, “Why?”, “Because it will put both of you at risk of contracting HIV”. Sex happens, so learn how to have responsible sex. No longer is sex education just about which bits go where, sex education is about life skills – how to negotiate, how to stand by your beliefs, how to communicate, how to say no, how to have a healthy relationship, how to use a condom, how to look after your health when sexually active, etc.
And HIV has forced us to confront bigger issues around sex too, the power politics of sex and the socioeconomic reasons for sex. How risky sexual behaviour is related to poverty and education; the sexual behaviour of migrant labourers and truck drivers; how much choice a woman has on whether a condom is used and the power play at work. And HIV is also no longer just about sex, it is also about poverty. The highest HIV prevalence is in some of the world’s poorest regions. HIV can now be treated and should not result in the person dying, but the drugs are expensive and they are not reaching the poor who need them. And it is the poor with less power and education and fewer options that are not able to make the choice to have safe sex and are therefore most at risk of contracting HIV.
And HIV is also about stigma and judgement and denial and our own mortality. The spread of HIV could be completely stopped in its tracks if everyone went for testing, knew their status and was open about their status. But will this ever happen? How can we ask people to reveal their status when it could result in them being cast of from society, to be rejected by their friends and family as unclean and dangerous? When there is still so much fear and misunderstanding of HIV in the world? Why would someone go for an HIV test when many people still believe HIV is a death sentence? Who wants to know they might die? Why would someone go for a test when they believe it is only gay people, the poor or the immoral that get HIV?
We have a long way to go, lessons are still being learnt, stigmas are still being challenged, but we ignore those lessons and perpetuate those stigmas at our own peril.